It was an early, cool, crisp fall morning in the last weekend of October. Actually, it was the first day of hunting season for Maine residents. I was trying my hardest to walk with stealth through the crisp leaves and slippery pine needles. Acorns adorned this patch of woods, and I felt myself feeling like I was walking on hundreds of jumbo marbles.
I was headed in search of a spot to sit and hopefully catch a glimpse of a Maine whitetail. This piece of woods was new to me. I hike a lot of trails in the summer, so by fall I am ready for the extra weight of clothing and gear. Today though, I felt as though I couldn't get out of my own way.
The incline of this land was not what I would have called steep. But I felt myself losing energy in a quick fashion. I was in probably a mile and a half when I finally found a good spot to plop for a bit.
I pulled out my water, and one of my energy bars, in hopes that it would help replenish my unusually low energy supply. And while I waited, I watched for any sign of life in this seemingly empty forest.
I sat for a few hours, more or less. Moving a bit over the course in search of new spots. A few doe crossed my path, but since I didn't get drawn for a doe permit this year, I sat in search of a buck.
Finally, I felt strong enough to get out of my own way, and I decided to truck it back to vehicle in order to find a new patch of land, and some more food.
I continued on with the rest of my hunting day, getting this strange feeling that something was a bit off. Maybe I was coming down with a cold? No, that couldn't be it. I know my body pretty well, and I didn't feel at all sick.
At the end of the day, I went home, showered, and cuddled up in a blanket with a good book. By this point, I think I had eaten about ten pounds of food. Normally I'm a relatively large eater anyways, but this amount of food I had packed away was unreal.
A few days went by, and all I wanted to do was sleep. And drink orange juice.......by the GALLON! Huh, this made me wise up to what was happening with my body. Amongst other tell tale signs. Off to the drugstore I went for a pregnancy test (and more orange juice).
The results were positive. Four times. Better retest and be sure, I had figured! I was officially carrying a little one inside of me.
I felt relieved that there was nothing seriously wrong with me. But I also felt more emotion than I knew what to do with. I was sscared that I might not be a good mom. Nervous that I might not be able to provide a child the life that I thought was deserved. That I might not be best suited for motherhood.
All of these nervous and doubtfull feeling diminished in no time flat, though. In litterally a few hours, I went from a nervous train wreck, to the over joyed mother to be. This was a new chapter in my life, and a new life all together!
